pics

my big girl..workin on her 5th month!!!
she loves to turn the pages in her new book
the shirt us cute but she sleepa thru the night lol

new outfit...i love it! it almost is a lil small &it's 3-6mos!!
would make a good febreze add
prunes! she loves them lol & loves to play with her socks
she loves eating carrots!
mommy looks busted but her hair looks great!

my bright eyed girl!!
looks like i gave her a hawk but thats au nautrel
this ish is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s!!
watching blues clues lol
i love this pic of us! <333

My very long Health sotry and updates

6/19/08
Please pray for my health..
I need some prayer warriors to really go at it for me.. I am having several issues with my health and I need all the prayer I can get. Here's what's going on....I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on the 26th. They are impacted and decaying and all this other nonsense. They are giving me migraines and effecting my sinuses. I am very nervous and anesthesia scares the crap outta me. But I need it because they aren't just pulling them, they are doing surgery down to the bone and what not...so I'm just scared even though I know and believe that God is in control and I will be fine. Also pray about my right breast. I have a large mass and it was thought by my physician to be a clogged milk duct but I no longer think that is what it is... my milk expresses fine and now my breast is very sore and tender and the mass has grown. It's not looking good. I'm not looking for any sympathy...just PRAYER. Please please please. Because I know that's the only thing that really does work. One last thing is my gall bladder. I'm supposed to watch my diet but it's hard. I'm a picky eater to begin with and I'm trying to eat as much of a variety as possible because I am nursing. Anyhow, it is painful and I believe it's why I was throwing up last night. The doc said we should be able to monitor and control it with diet until I'm done breastfeeding but then I will probably need surgery (pending further testing). So please keep this in your prayers as well. The devil really is trying to bring me down with these health problems and I rebuke him in the name of Jesus because I am a child of GOD. I'm trying to keeping fighting it off with prayer but I could use your prayers too. I know God understands how I am feeling because the Bible says He is touched with our infirmities. Now I am just trusting Him for healing and I ask you to pray and trust Him for the same. Please pray that he be with my and my family and also all of the doctors and medical staff dealing with these issues. Thank you all so much! And thank you Jesus for the miracles I know you will perform for me. And I give You all the praise, honor, and glory for them. AMEN!


6/20/08
health update 1
So I've spent most of the day crying. Although I completely trust God my human nature takes over and fear sets in. So many things went wrong today...the devil trying to prevent me from getting to this ultrasound appointment in any way he could. And let me just sya he is relentless. And when we finally got to the appointment we were so late from being lost that they told me I'd have to reschedule. Of course I got emotional and lost my temper a little bit...hey, I'm not perfect. But praise God they fit me in their already packed schedule. SO....I am very fearful of anesthesia and not only will I be going under for these crazy teeth on Thursday but if that goes the way it's supposed to, sometime soon I will be needing surgery to remove the lumps from my right breast. They believe the smaller of the two to be just a benign fibroid which I am prone to having... however they are quite unsure what the larger one is. They don't know if it's filled with fluid or what. They MIGHT do and biospy and my appointment next week to see if it's cancer or whatever it could possibly be besides that ( I don't even know how many different things it could be). Cancer in someone my age is unlikely but is not impossible. It may just be that my hormones from the pregnancy and breastfeeding have made the fibroids grow all crazy. We just won't know until the surgery.Please please please pray for me and my family. I am NOT looking for sympathy..it's too easy to fall in love with sympathy...then we wonder why God isn't healing us but why would He heal me if I'm more in love with the sympathy than with His awesome healing power? Yeah, I don't even wanna go there.
But what I do want is prayer....real honest prayer. Not, "oh I'll pray for you"...when you don't really ever have any intention to literally praying...or if you're praying to someone other than God...The Lord Jesus Christ. But I do need prayers. Ask God for complete healing in all my areas of infirmity...and also pray that if that's not His will..that the surgeries are successful and for a full and speedy recovery. Also pray for all the doctors and medical staff that will be a part of all this. Pray that God be with them and provide then with their A-game when dealing with me. Pray that it's not cancer and that if it is, it was found early enough to get rid of, Just pray. Pray pray pray... I know it works... I've seen ot work for others and I've seen it work for me.
My biggest fear is having something go wrong with the anesthesia or getting some other problem because of the surgery. I dont know... I'm just nervous... I think that's expected. I don't know...I'm exhausted.. the thought of it brings me to tears..looking at my daughter brings me to tears... I'm just drained... I don't even want to talk about it. I just want to pray and ask you all to pray and just.. that's it. I'll keep you updated. Thank you all so much. I love u guys!**you know it's unfortunate that when you finally make the choice to live your life for God..the devil attacks you.. from little things to really big things. It's been happening to me for at least 6months but he can't have me. I am a child of God and satan has no authority over me. I am fully trusting God, whatever happens. He sees the BIG picture and He will never leave me or forsake me!! HOLLA!**


6/24/08
health update 2 Current mood: blessed
Please point me to those who don't believe in the power of prayer. We all know from my other blogs that I have been having some issues with my health lately. Whether it be the devil trying to bring me down for following God the way I should be or what some may think, God testing my faith... either way it has been very hard. Still, I stood steadfast on the Word of God and put all my faith in Him. Now listen to my miracle.....
I had the lump in my breast that was growing and painful and even discolered. The doctor originally thought it was a clogged milk duct but heat and massage were not getting rid of it. It got worse. The doctor sent me to the breast health center to have an ultrasound. The radiologist said that there were two lumps (which actually turned out there was 3 but whatever). The one lump she said was just a fibroid adanoma (sp?) which is the same things I've had ever since I grew breasts. She said the one however, definitely wasn't.
I told her how the doctor had thought it could be a clogged milk duct but she said that's not likely based on what she saw. She said she didn't know what it was and she went to consult with another radiologist. She came back in the room and told me I needed to see a surgeon and have all the lumps removed.
So they made an appointment fo rme with their surgeon. I went to see him today. He did an ultrasound himself and as he was looking explained everything he saw. He showed the one that he was pretty sure was a fibroid adanoma based on the look and how it was different from this large mass.
He said it's probably not cancer because I am so young and it didn't look like a cancer but it was something he'd never seen before. He said he's had pregnant and nursing women come in and that clogged milk ducts don't really look like that.
He then gave the run down of the 3 things it could possibly be (none of them being a clogged milk duct mind u). Then he said he was going to go in and try to extract whatever it was... like drain it... which would mean there was an abcess or infection. BUT he said he really didn't think anything would come out because what he thought it was could not be drained. But he wanted to rule it out completely first. Then if it went the way he expected and nothing came out, he would then biopsy it (put this tubey thing and suck out cells from it I guess and send it to the lab).
WELL... now here's the miracle... and before I say it... you just keep in mind that I have prayed and prayed and prayed about this... I even had my daughter lay hands on me in the name of Jesus.. I've had all of you praying (and even those of you who will say "see I said I'd pray for her but didnt and shes fine so it must not be from prayer"...you're wrong because there were plenty of people actually praying)...and I was praying in my head in the doctors office... I'm in like a constant state of prayer... sooo... he goes to aspirate (suck out) this thing..completely thinking that nothing would come from it....
he followed the needle on the ultrasound screen until he reached the mass...when he took stuff out at first it was just milk.... then with the second aspirator it was a milk-like substance and blood...as gross as it sounds...this is awesome!! It turns out with was just backed up milk that congealed and got stuck there in this mass. The other part of it he couldn't suck out so we still aren't too positive about it but he said it might drain itself and if not I can go back and have it aspirated or re-examined.
It could also just be a lactation adanoma that will go away when I'm done breastfeeding. So I guess we'll know for sure when Justice-kymorah is about a year old and I switch her to regular milk.
But I just want to give God all the glory and honor and praise for this because I really think that without the prayer this would have been something other than a clogged milk issue. I really really believe that. 100%. Especially because all the doctors dealing with it said there was no real way that this is what it was...and that if it by some chance was, it was the craziest case they have ever seen.
So maybe this happened to me because someone who read this or heard the story needed to hear of the Grace of God. He is there when his believers call on Him an dhe will never leave us or forsake us. We have gone through a lot in the past year and I can tell you that we never would have gotten through any of it without the grace and love of Jesus Christ. Put your faith in him and live your life according to His Word and he will see you through...
Thank you all for your prayers. Please keep them coming for Thursday... I have the surgery on my mouth... the anesthesia is what saces me because some people just don't wake up. But I believe I still have a lot to do for God here on this earth. But that doesn't mean I don't need the prayer. You guys have all been an awesome support. I love you all and Jesus loves us all! God Bless you guys!!

SINGLE mommy

*God gives us the strength to do things we never would have thought we could do in our wildest dreams*

You wanna talk about single-motherhood?

ok lets talk about it...

It's a late night following a very looong day going to doctors and hospitals...I'm puking and dry heaving from some very questionable Chinese food and feeding my daughter her nighttime cereal bottle (which she screams her little head of theres any delay in her consumption of it) at the same time..

Dads are super hero's.

Mom's are miracle workers.

Single moms are super heroes who perform miracles.

GOOD TALK.

4 months!!!

That's right...baby bear is already 4 months old!! I really cannot believe how fast the time goes. She's over 13 pounds now and is abut 24.5 inches long(tall)! Her head is about 15 inches. She waves and tries to say "hi" (she was actually successful in saying it a few times). She's enjoying tummy-time much more now than she used to. I taped her today and she gets up on her knees as if attempting to crawl!! Of course crawling is a long time off but it's cute to see her try. She has figured out how to put her hand around her binky and take it out of her mouth...which has resulted in her new game: take binky out, wave it around at mommy, then drop/throw it on the floor. I'm not too fond of the game but she loves it! She's been fussy the past few days...she did recently have shots...and we believe she has a tooth coming in... but I don't know... she wakes up screaming which isn't like her at all. So I'll be keepin an eye on that. I don't know if I mentioned before or not, but she now naps in her crib or her pack-n- play....which is a big step for both of us! LOL. She always wants what I'm eating or drinking and expresses her frustration when I don't give her it...it's amusing...for now.

The couple I extended the offer of God-parenthood to accepted!! I'm so happy about that..you have no idea. They are great people and I know they were the right choice and will do an excellent job. I hope to have pictures of all of us up soon, as I hope to be seeing them A LOT more. Ah, they are awesome! God is awesome and I am so thankful to Him for putting Mike and Liisa (and Aaron) in our lives. I'll be calling the church this week to get the application for a dedication ceremony... which I'm so excited about it because I wanted her dedicated like the day she was born. Which she was in my heart and mind but I needed to do some praying about picking God parents first. But now that that's settled, I believe a proper ceremony is in order!

My health has been a little..messy if you will, lately. But I'm trusting God for a complete healing. I tried to start supplementing formula occasionally for Justice-kymorah because certain tests or surgeries I may have done will affect my breastfeeding for a short time. But...like I figured.. she's not taking well to it. She eats it no problem but her stomach can't handle it. So now I'm just trying to pump and save as much as possible! The 26th is the tentative date for my wisdom tooth extraction.... so far that's the only doctor I've called. Tomorrow I need to call the surgeon who did the lumpectomies I had done on my breast a few years back and also the eye doctor. Fun, fun. Keep us in your prayers!

visiting!!!

pics

Justice-kymorah and Mamaw on vacation
Justice-kymorah and Mommy on vacation
it's the gas prices...
tee-hee :0)
mommy driving

teeth, teeth, teeth

So Justice-kymorah is teething... or starting to. She just has to be. She's really moody and drooling ALL OVER THE PLACE. She won't stay asleep when she falls asleep and has started to put all her toys right to her mouth the second she gets her little hands on them. I hope the moodiness doesn't last long. She also breaks out in a sweat but has no fever..but in a room that isn't hot at all and her skin feels cool...just clammy and sweaty... I don't know, it's weird.

I finally got the nerve to ask Liisa and Mike to be Justice-kymorah's God-parents. A lot of people confuse God-parents as being the people who get custody of the baby should something happen to (me). But that's not that case. To me, God-parents are people other than myself holding Justice-kymorah spiritually responsible. People to help me- help her in her walk with the Lord. {And in the event that the Lord calls me home, they would be there for her to continue to guide her spiritually}. I've prayed about it for awhile now and I always came to Mike and Liisa as the perfect choice so I prayed a little more, then asked Liisa. She seems for it but she's gotta talk to Mike of course. I feel really great about my decision. And in the event that they accept, I am really looking forward to becoming very close with them. Like family. I already feel very connected with Liisa so I think this will really work. Keep us all in your prayers!


We recently went on a little weekend get-away. At which I gave myself a concussion by bashing my head off of a mantle. Danger Will Robinson! I'm a moron. In my defense it was a pointless mantle and not the only dangerous thing in that place. Going away is more stressful than staying home. I took like 9 hours to get ready.. seriously. I packed just about everything Justice-kymorah has and tons of clothes for me because I hadn't had time to pick exactly what I was going to wear. I always over pack...but it's better than under-packing. LOL. My mom rocks and surprised me with a 40 of Old E. I couldn't drink it. haha. I pumped bottles and everything for Justice-kymorah but had less than a beers worth and wanted to puke all over. It's been so long, I thought I missed it...but I really really don't. Which is cool. I just can't handle the thought of possibly getting sick when I have my daughter to take care of... not worth it at all. I'll stick to water, juice and milk :0)


We had coffee with Kim today. Which was totally awesome. I talked her ear off. I don't get to talk to people my age much so I just couldn't shut up. We had a good time though and will definitely be doing so more often. I've known her since I was waaaay young. She rocks!
Then we went to see Jessica and Alex. They have grown so much! I was soooo happy to see them. I miss them a lot. Alex pretty much looks the same but a lil more mature ya know? And Jessica... wow... she's looks so different to me! Really it's just the hair and the fact that she's walking (and running!!!) realy good on her own. Oh, I just love them!

My teeth have been bothering me so much lately. Hurts pretty bad. Looks like I'll be having my wisdom teeth out and some sort of braces put on. Yeah..22 years old with braces... I'm the epitome of cool.

God has been so good to us! Just wanted to point that out. We give him all the praise and honor and glory for all that he has done and is doing and WILL do in our lives!! Whoo-Hoo!!